Don't leave me alone
by ReverieOfChoice
Summary: "I thought that maybe things would be different with Graham. But he's not here anymore and it's not even his fault because he's dead". Set after 1x07. Emma needs Mary Margaret do deal with what happened.
1. Chapter 1

**Don't leave me alone**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Once Upon A Time

**A/N:** Hi! This is my very first fanfic and I really hope you like it. Once Upon A Time is a fantastic show and I'm particularly fond of Emma and Snow's relationship. Lately I've been kind of missing Mary Margaret and Emma's best friends/roommates moments, even though I love their mother/daughter dynamic. This story just wouldn't get out of my head and I'd love it if you took the time to leave me a review :)

"Hello?"

"Oh, Emma, thank God! I was so worried about you. Why didn't you answer my calls?"

Emma took a deep breath. In the midst of calling the ambulance, going to the hospital, hoping with all her heart that Graham would hear her calls and hang on to life, and trying not to break down every time someone asked her how the hell had a healthy man suddenly collapsed to the ground she decided to ignore the insistent buzz of her cellphone.

She knew Mary Margaret would be worried sick about her, considering the deep hours of the night she was surprised to find herself in. Yet, until this very moment she hadn't find the time or the courage within herself to face her best friend and tell her what had happened a few hours before. It would mean admitting Graham was gone, something that up to this point she had refused to do.

A few moments before, though, when she was alone in the waiting room waiting for she didn't know what, Dr. Whale came over and placed a hand on her shoulder. "The results of the autopsy should come sometime later this week. You should go home get some rest," he had said. It was then that her phone went off.

"Sorry," she answered to the anxious voice of her friend. "Something happened".

"What?"

"Graham." She realized her voice started to quiver. Trying to calm herself, but failing anyway, Emma continued "he just collapsed. I don't know what happened, Mary Margaret, he was just here and then…"

Her voice broke and she couldn't bring herself to finish the sentence.

"Emma, it's going to be okay. Listen, where are you?"

"Hospital." Her voice was just above a whisper.

"I'm going to pick you up, all right? Wait for me."

"You don't need to."

"I'm going to. See you in a few minutes".

With that she hung up the phone, leaving Emma alone with her thoughts. Dr. Whale had gone away as soon as she answered to the call, so Emma sunk into a chair at the desert waiting room.

The images of what had happened kept haunting her and in an attempt to distract her mind Emma started to pace. At some point she considered going all the way to the room they had taken Graham to, but shook the idea away as the lone thought of seeing his lifeless body was almost too painful to bear. What the hell was taking Mary Margaret so long? Emma was starting to get annoyed at her overprotection. She didn't have to come and didn't have to treat Emma like a child. Emma knew all too well how to take care of herself.

Lost in thoughts Emma didn't hear Mary Margaret enter the hospital until her name was called in a sweet yet worried voice. Startled she turned to the direction of the voice and was greeted by sympathetic eyes. Emma realized she must have been looking dreadful.

"You didn't have to come, I can drive myself back home".

"I know. But you sounded so off on the phone you got me worried".

"I'm fine".

"What happened to Graham? Where is he?" Mary Margaret asked as she approached Emma.

It must have been the look in Emma's eyes or yet the fact that she looked everywhere but at the brunette's, but Mary Margaret suddenly came to the realization about Graham.

"Oh my God, Emma," she touched Emma's arms lightly, "Is he… is he?"

"Yea."

Emma stepped away from Mary Margaret's touch.

"I'm fine," she repeated, tough she didn't really know if she was trying to convince Mary Margaret or herself. "Let's go".

Emma reluctantly accepted Mary Margaret's offer to drive them to the apartment with the intention of turning at the window and ignoring all of Mary Margaret's attempts to get her to talk. She didn't want to talk and didn't want to deal with the fact that Graham had just died in her arms right after they kissed. Not now, not ever. It hurt too much.

"Emma…"

Emma made no gesture to acknowledge that she had listened to Mary Margaret.

"I understand that you don't want to listen to me right now, but I think that if you talk to…"

"I don't want to talk." Emma cut her short.

"But I just…"

It was all too much for Emma at the moment. On the top of everything she had been through that day she didn't want to deal with Mary Margaret's attempt to work on her inability to discuss her emotions. Yes, she was aware her friend was only trying to help her, but right now all Emma wanted was to climb on her bed and try to forget everything. Alone. So, despite knowing that her anger shouldn't be directed at her roommate, Emma snapped.

"I'm. Not. Going. To. Talk. You know what happened, he's dead. He's not coming back. I can very well take care of myself, I always have, in case you haven't noticed." Emma took a few deep breaths, trying to stop the trembling in her voice.

"I'm sorry." Mary Margaret didn't seem hurt, so Emma took the opportunity to close her eyes and turn back to the window.

For the rest of the car drive an uncomfortable silence hung around them. When they reached the building Emma left the car and didn't wait for Mary Margaret, climbing the stairs two at a time. By the time her roommate arrived into the apartment Emma had grabbed the first pair of sweatpants and tank top she found and was getting into the bathroom.

"I'm going to take a shower." She said slamming the bathroom door behind her.

Immediately she felt guilty. Maybe slamming the door was too much considering it was Mary Margaret she was dealing with. The problem was, though, that Emma knew that talking to Mary Margaret in a civilized way was going to lead to letting her guard downs, and she couldn't do it because it would inevitably cause the break down she knew was coming but tried to avoid anyway.

It was only at the feeling of the shower's warm water and in the safety of the solitude that Emma allowed a few tears to fall.

After a few minutes, and feeling in control of her emotions, Emma decided she should probably apologize to Mary Margaret, but by the time she left the bathroom she realized the brunette was no longer in sight, the curtains around her bed closed. Emma was surprised at feeling disappointed that Mary Margaret had given up on her, but shook the thought away quickly.

Upon opening her room's door the first thing she noticed was a mug of hot chocolate with cinnamon resting on the bed stand. Approaching it, Emma saw a little piece of paper with a note written on Mary Margaret's handwriting. _"If you need me you know where I am"._

For some reason reading that little note brought tears to Emma's eyes, which she blinked away as she reached for the mug. Her hands were shaking but she tried to steady them as she relished the warmth of the chocolate. Running her eyes around the room Emma tried to find a distraction powerful enough to take her mind off the events of the day and hopefully allow her to sleep, but images of Dr. Whale hanging his head in defeat and saying there was nothing he could do kept assaulting her mind.

Emma thought of how she was going to go back to the station and face Graham's empty chair, knowing he was never going to return with his friendly smile and his terrible donuts jokes. Knowing that at that same place she had kissed him and he had thanked her for whatever reason she would never know and she had felt a happiness Emma hadn't experienced in so long she actually thought it would never be felt again. The same place where he fell to the ground and she tried every imaginable way to get him to wake up only to realize he wasn't going to.

Feeling nauseated Emma returned the mug to the bed stand and threw herself on the bed, burying her face in the pillow. Tears spilled from her eyes but she was too tired to wipe them off. And, no matter how hard she tried to fight them, the sobs came and they were painful as they rocked her body.

Emma was lying on her side, he back to the door. Mary Margaret could see how her body shook with the sobs and it made her heart break. She had never before seen Emma cry. She was used to the whole drinking away the pain and breaking objects, but that was the first time she was seeing her friend truly broken and, if she was being honest, she didn't really know how to handle it.

Emma wasn't one to talk through her feelings, even though Mary Margaret knew she trusted her enough to let her walls down ever so slightly from times to times. Mary slowly approached the bed and sat down beside Emma, placing her hand on her friend's shoulder. The sobs had stopped the moment Mary Margaret stepped into the room, but Emma immediately tensed and hid her head further in the pillow although she didn't really try to get away from Mary Margaret's touch.

"Emma," Mary Margaret tried again. No response came other than a sniffle. "I'm sorry if I'm bothering you, I just want to tell you something and I need you to listen to me, okay?"

Mary Margaret took Emma's silence as consent and continued, running her thumb on the top of Emma's arm.

"You, Emma Swan, are not alone anymore, you know that, right? Because I'm here for you and I'm going to be by your side through this. No matter what. You don't have to deal with it alone, and you don't have to pretend you're fine".

Mary Margaret heard Emma's hitched breathing and felt her friend's shoulders move rapidly with deep breaths, like she was on the verge of breaking down. Without second thoughts she used her free hand to move a strand of blond hair away from Emma's face, consciously leaving her hand on the top of her head for a few seconds longer, surprised that the blond didn't pull away.

They stayed in silence for a few minutes, Mary Margaret's hand still clung to Emma's shoulder. Soon Emma's breathing evened and she turned to face her friend. Mary Margaret shifted positions allowing Emma to turn fully around and as she rested her back against the headboard she took notice of Emma's features. It was both unsettling and heartbreaking to see her bloodshot eyes and tearstained cheeks.

"I'm sorry I snapped at you earlier," Emma whispered.

"It's perfectly fine. You were upset, I get it. I'm really sorry I kept pushing you to talk".

Emma tried a small smile in gratitude – that didn't reach her eyes, Mary Margaret noticed – and received a mirrored one in return. The long silence that followed the exchange made Mary Margaret conclude Emma would most likely want to be left alone.

"I better go to my room, then. If you need anything, anything at all, Emma, and I don't care if you think it's stupid, you come to me. And if I'm asleep you wake me up, all right?

"Okay, Mary Margaret. Don't worry about me, though."

Mary Margaret smiled at that.

"As if," she joked getting up and leaving the room.

**I hope it's not too bad. I apologize for the several mistakes you probably found, English is not my native language. Corrections are appreciated. I'm finishing the second part of the story and will post it soon!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **Wow, thank you so much for reading, reviewing, following and favoriting this story. It made me so happy, you have no idea. I loved your comments, and I agree that the show should have addressed Graham's death more. I just want to give you all a hug.

_Emma was clutching to Graham's body, screaming at him to wake up. She realized his life was slipping through her fingers and there was nothing she could do about it._

_She heard the siren and the paramedics entering the station when one of her tears landed on the top of his chest. She then felt a hand on her shoulder. Someone was telling her she needed to get up but she didn't want to. She knew that if she let go Graham would die._

_So she was not so gently moved into a standing position and felt completely lost and hopeless. She really wished at that moment that Mary Margaret were by her side telling her everything would be okay. The problem is Emma knew it wasn't. _

_The paramedics were lifting Graham from the floor, his face pale and lifeless. She tried to ask what were they doing, where they were taking him to, but no one answered. Maybe she wasn't speaking loud enough._

_She couldn't let them take him. He couldn't be dead._

"_Graham!"_

Startled, Emma sat up on her bed. She had tears rolling down her cheeks and quickly wiped them, trying to forget the images of Graham's lifeless body on the ground.

A few seconds later Emma heard footsteps and saw Mary Margaret make her way to her room, stopping by the door.

"Did you call me?"

"No… I don't know, actually. I think I was talking in my sleep."

"Bad dream?"

Emma nodded, hating herself for feeling her eyes well up at the thought of the nightmare she was having. She hated feeling this vulnerable and hated that she had apparently lost the ability to control her emotions. Emma, after living all those years in the system, learned that appearing weak never worked in her favor, it only made people take advantage of her.

But looking at her friend's eyes she felt a sense of comfort. It was like Mary Margaret understood everything she was feeling – even if Emma was unwilling to discuss her emotions – and would do anything to make her feel better.

Emma wasn't used to this, having someone who wanted to comfort her for no reason other than making her stop feeling bad. It felt overwhelming and unsettling but it made her realize she didn't want the feeling to go away. Much like in her dream she wished Mary Margaret would stay by her side. She wished – and it was probably a first in her life – to crush her walls to the ground and let Mary Margaret hold her tight, telling her she would be okay. She wished she was able to tell Mary Margaret that she had been right this morning because Emma did have feelings for Graham but now he was dead and what was the point anyway?

If Emma was strong enough she would be able to tell her friend how sad and hurt she was feeling and that she didn't know how to make the pain go away, but would she please help her?

But Emma didn't feel strong, and the mess she was in only served as a confirmation of her weakness. She didn't really know why but she could not let her walls down and say what she wanted to say, even though Mary Margaret would understand like she always did.

Emma was shaken out of her reverie by the sound of her friend's voice.

"Do you want me to make you some more hot chocolate? That one is cold," she said looking at the remains of Emma's chocolate.

_Please don't leave me alone._

"No, thank you. I'm not hungry".

Mary Margaret opened her mouth to reply but Emma continued.

"Mary Margaret, you know how you said I could call you if I needed anything?"

"Yes".

Emma's gaze dropped as she was embarrassed of what she was about to ask. Taking a deep breath she continued.

"It's just that…Only if you can," she hesitated, "will you stay with me for a while?"

Mary Margaret's eyes softened.

"Of course, Emma".

Emma scooted over to allow Mary Margaret to sit down. Settling by Emma's side and taking a hold of her hand, Mary Margaret asked:

"Do you want to tell me about your dream? This always makes me feel better when I have a nightmare".

"It was just a memory," she sighted, "of his death".

"I'm sorry." Mary Margaret squeezed her hand. "Really, Emma, I don't think I've said it before but I'm really sorry that this happened.

Emma felt a lump in her throat and her vision started to get clouded by tears. Losing the grip on Mary Margaret's hand she took a deep breath.

"I don't understand," she managed to whisper, "one moment we were kissing and the other…"

"You two kissed?" Mary Margaret asked surprised.

"Yea. You know what? It's always like this. Everyone I care about, everyone I get involved with ends up leaving me. I thought things were changing after I came to Storybrooke, I don't know why, it's stupid, but I thought that maybe things would be different with Graham. But he's not here anymore and it's not even his fault because he's dead." Her voice broke at the end.

Emma hadn't realized she'd let her tears fall until Mary Margaret reached her hand to brush them away. Emma let her.

"Maybe I'm just meant to be alone. Not even my parents wanted me".

The words left her lips before she could stop them. Looking down to avoid staring at her friend's eyes she felt it become hard to breathe again.

"Emma, look at me".

Slowly she glanced up to meet Mary Margaret's eyes and was surprised to see tears in them as well. It was all it took for Emma to break down completely. As the first sobs started to rack her body Mary Margaret reached over and wrapped her arms around Emma, who, to Mary Margaret's surprise, buried her head on the brunette's shoulders and clung to her tightly.

"It's gonna be alright," Mary Margaret said soothingly as she moved her hand to stroke Emma's hair, "I'm here".

Emma was too tired to attempt to hold back. Mary Margaret's embrace felt warm and comforting and she finally felt safe enough to let it all out. It was a feeling unlike any other Emma had ever experienced, having someone to hold her as she fell apart.

Mary Margaret knew that tearing down one of Emma's walls was very difficult, and usually the fact that Emma trusted her enough to reveal such deep and meaningful feelings was somewhat of an accomplishment. But not this time. She hated that in that moment Emma's words regarding her past arose as a consequence of Graham's death and she wished there was anything she could do to make her pain go away.

She could feel her shirt start to get damp with Emma's tears and her heart hurt a little when, at the slightest sign of movement, Emma's arms instinctively tightened her grip around Mary Margaret's waist.

"I've got you," she said, rubbing comforting circles on Emma's back. "I'm not going anywhere".

It took several long minutes for Emma's sobs to die down, but eventually she found herself quietly leaning against Mary Margaret, her hands clenched on the back of her friend's shirt and her head buried in the crook of her neck.

When Mary Margaret felt that Emma had calmed down enough she broke the comfortable silence that had fallen over them.

"Hey…Listen to me because this is important". She tried to think of the best words to use. "You don't deserve to be alone. No one does. What happened today has nothing to do with you don't deserving having someone".

Emma sighted.

"It's that I did a lot of bad things when I was younger," she responded in a muffled voice.

"Everyone makes mistakes and bad choices. But look at you now, the person you've become. You are amazing, Emma".

"I'm not so sure".

"Oh, really? Because as far as I know you are a fantastic mother, you do everything you possibly can to help anyone that needs your help, and you are my best friend. And I'm not friends with bad people".

Emma felt her eyes sting. Not trusting her voice to put into words the thanks she wanted to say, she held her friend tighter.

"Look," Mary Margaret continued, "what happened today should not have happened. I don't know why it did, but you didn't deserve it, do you understand?" She waited for a nod from Emma before continuing. "I'm not familiar with the wrong things you say you did during your past, and I'm not going to make you tell me unless you want to. But the Emma I know deserves all the happiness in the world, and I mean it".

Emma wondered if Mary Margaret had any idea of how much those words meant to her. 'You deserve to be happy', such simple words, yet so meaningful that when Mary Margaret said them Emma could actually believe it. She allowed herself to be held for a few seconds longer before pulling out of the hug.

"Thank you, Mary Margaret".

"You're welcome".

"Nobody has ever done this for me", Emma said wiping her cheeks. "Genuinely cared about my feelings, I mean".

Mary Margaret smiled sadly at that.

"But I'm here now".

Glancing at the clock on Emma's bed stand Mary Margaret gasped. "Emma, it's 4 a.m! We need to sleep."

The nightmare she was having earlier came to Emma's mind. She was tired and could really use some sleep, but didn't want to relieve Graham's death in her dreams.

"I kind of don't want to sleep".

"But I'm going to stay here with you", Mary Margaret said as if it was the most obvious fact in the world.

She had done so much already. Leaving home in the middle of the night to meet Emma at the hospital, making her hot chocolate, staying up, listening to Emma, comforting her every possible way, holding her and letting her tears soak through her shirt. Emma couldn't think of a way to begin thanking Mary Margaret for being there for her when she so desperately needed her presence. Even though she really wanted Mary Margaret by her side Emma felt that it was unfair making her friend stay taking care of her for the whole night.

"It's okay, Mary Margaret, you don't need to".

If she wasn't still recovering from her tears Emma would have laughed as Mary Margaret set up her best fake offended expression.

"If you don't _want _me to stay, Emma, I can go", she said in a light, playful tone, a little smile creeping onto her face.

"Fine", Emma answered with a genuine little smile. "Stay".

While they settled under the covers Emma tried to push away the thoughts of the day she had had, trying to avoid the nightmares. Mary Margaret, with her uncanny ability to read Emma's facial features and tell what she's thinking, tried to ease her mind.

"Don't worry about the nightmares. I'm a very light sleeper, if I hear you're having one I'll wake you up".

Emma nodded, still not entirely convinced.

"You know what?" Mary Margaret continued, "What if I tell you a story? To put your mindset on something else".

"A story? What, Snow White and the seven dwarfs?"

"I was thinking more of one of the old tales of Sorybrooke".

"Oh my…" Emma said amused, though she was starting to get intrigued. "This doesn't have to do with Henry's book, does it?"

"No. These are real life stories".

"Okay. Old tales of Storybrooke it is".

Emma scooted over so she was closer to Mary Margaret, lying on her side and facing her.

"All right, let me see… where to start? Oh, this one is really funny. It was when Regina bought her car".

**I enjoyed writing this chapter, even though I'm not sure if it came out as you guys expected. I plan to add a third one to finish the story. Oh, and thank you for the nice things said about my English, I appreciate it. **

**Thanks for reading :) **


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: **I don't even have an excuse, sorry for the delay

* * *

The sky was grey and the weather seemed to be getting colder at each passing hour. Emma couldn't help thinking it was extremely fitting to a day like this. She tried to think of nothing other than the road ahead of her, but as she drove the streets of Storybrooke were quieter than usual, and the lack of distraction diverted her thoughts to the conversation she had had a few days before with her son.

_When she heard the soft knock on the door she immediately knew who it was. Henry. He would always come by on Saturday mornings. Emma's stomach dropped at the thought of telling her son about what happened and not only because she didn't want to think about it, but because she knew Henry liked Graham and the news would crush him._

_Mary Margaret, who was at the other side of the counter, looked at Emma expectantly._

"_Do you want me to…" She pointed at the door._

"_No", Emma interrupted. "I have to do this". Mary Margaret smiled encouragingly._

"_I'll be upstairs". She said before squeezing Emma's arm on her way to the stairs._

_ Admitting to herself there was no way of avoiding the conversation with Henry, Emma slowly made her way towards the front door, taking a deep breath as she pulled it open. As soon as their eyes met Henry dashed forward and flung his arms around Emma, burying his head on her stomach. She hugged him back, tightly._

_None of them said anything for a while, until after they let go of each other's arms._

"_I know what happened", Henry whispered. "My mom told me"._

_Emma didn't find it surprising that the mayor would be immediately informed about the town's sheriff sudden death, but she couldn't help but wonder if Regina had enjoyed it to the point she had to tell her son right away. Had she worried at all about how this sort of news could affect a child, let alone one with Henry's imagination and sensibility, or had she told it dismissively, like it didn't matter?_

_As unsettling as it was the fact that Graham died right the day Regina had showed her hatred for both him and Emma the most - like the universe had punished him for standing up to her - Emma forced herself to dismiss the thoughts and try and focus on her son._

"_Henry, I…" She was at a loss of words. How could she comfort Henry if she couldn't handle her own reaction? She then took a shaky breath and, looking into the boy's eyes, decided to start by the easiest: re-telling him what she'd witnessed. "I'm still not sure about what happened but yes, Graham died yesterday. I'm sorry." _

_Henry reached and took her hand, leading Emma to the couch where he took a sit next to her._

"_It must've been a heart attack or something, because the paramedics tried to reanimate…" Emma's voice trailed off. It was so damn hard._

"_Did you see it?"_

_Emma nodded, carefully avoiding looking into his eyes._

"_I'm going to miss him, he was my friend", Henry continued, his voice trembling. "And he believed in me."_

_And with that he started crying. Emma engulfed him in a hug and held on, wishing she could protect him from the hurt. She didn't even try to say anything because she knew that if she did she'd start sobbing again. Henry needed her to be strong. Maybe that's what it means to be a parent: being strong when your kid needs it, even if you feel you can't. _

But Emma no longer trusted her ability to remain strong. Not right now, not considering where she was heading.

She'd had a hard time convincing Mary Margaret that she was in perfect conditions to drive to the funeral by herself, but they eventually settled that the brunette was heading to the ceremony earlier so she could save Emma a seat. Emma just needed a few moments alone with her thoughts, as anguish as they were, before facing the whole town as they mourned their beloved sheriff in the quite big ceremony prepared by the mayor.

Having parked the yellow bug she took a few deep breaths and exited the car, heading to the place where dozens of white chairs were neatly set up just beyond the gravestones. Many familiar faces were gathered there, facing the low platform surrounded by flowers where the dark wood of the casket containing Graham's body shone in the faint sunlight.

Emma quickly spotted Mary Margaret, who sat beside Ruby on one of the rows near the back – to which she was grateful because she didn't really want to be surrounded by people – and forced herself to take steps forward, wishing she could find a reason, any reason, to get out of there.

As soon as Emma greeted Mary Margaret and Ruby and sat down on the empty chair by Mary Margaret's right an older man got up, facing the crowd that became solemnly silent. Emma thought he might be some kind of minister, but she wasn't sure.

The man went into a long speech about Graham's life, how he had been vital to the city and how every citizen would miss his presence. After he was done Regina stepped up on the platform and started her eulogy. Emma was faintly aware of what she was saying, something about how tragic it was to lose his life at such a young age, but she couldn't bring herself to pay full attention. The cold wind seemed to rip through the layers of clothes she was wearing, because she could feel her body begin to shiver. She scanned her eyes through the crowd looking for Henry, and didn't take long to find him on the front row, staring intently at Regina.

By the end of the mayor's speech a little girl who was sitting close to Henry stood up and headed to the podium. She said something Emma couldn't hear and Regina responded with a smile that - it could be seen from afar - wasn't very genuine.

"My name is Paige", she started with a sweet voice. "I just wanted to say thank you to Sheriff Graham because this one time I got lost and he helped me find my parents, and also when my best friend's dog ran into the woods Sheriff Graham went after him and saved him". She smiled. "And I just wanted to say I think he had a big, big heart."

Emma felt her eyes fill with tears during the girl's speech. She hadn't know Graham for too long, but Paige was perfectly describing the Graham she knew. Emma could bet he had emerged from the woods carrying the dog in his arms with a big smile on his face. Many people throughoutthe crowd nodded in agreement with the girl and the words she said sent Emma's mind back to the moment Graham had told her he didn't have a heart. How ironic. Someone who was willing to help everyone, who was so carrying and sweet, who offered Emma a job so she could put down some roots, who was able to get through the walls she'd carefully built to protect herself. How could he think he didn't have a heart?

She was so lost in thoughts that Mary Margaret's voice startled her.

"Emma, are you okay?" She sounded a little concerned. Emma wondered if she could see the tears that threatened to spill from her eyes.

Emma looked up to realize that she was the only person still sitting down, as everybody stood up to see a group of people carrying the casket. They were making their way around the rows of chairs in the direction of the place where Graham was going to be buried.

"Yeah". She took hold of the hand Mary Margaret offered and got to her feet.

Some people moved from their places so they could watch the casket being lowered to the ground more closely, but Emma only stood there, still holding Mary Margaret's hand. The image brought a rush of emotions she couldn't control. In that moment the promise she'd made herself earlier didn't hold up because silently some tears started to stream down her face.

She couldn't believe that was happening in there, where so many people could see it, where Henry could see her. She didn't want him to witness her acting so weak, so broken, couldn't bear the thought of the whole town catching her at the most vulnerable of moments. But Emma couldn't stop it, thought, not when there was no way of refuting the fatality of the moment, the final goodbye to someone who shouldn't have gone.

When a sob escaped her lips she let go of Mary Margaret's hand and used both of hers to wipe the tears away from her cheeks, glad that neither Mary Margaret nor Ruby said anything.

Fighting the urge of running as far away as she could, Emma took a couple of deep breaths to compose herself and tensed up a bit when Mary Margaret placed her hand on her back, but relaxed as she felt her friend rub small circles in a comforting way. Mary Margaret offered a small encouragingly smile but Emma couldn't bring herself to return it.

After the ceremony was finished and final goodbyes were offered the crowd started to disperse, many of them heading to Granny's, where they were having a get together. Ruby wrapped Mary Margaret in a hug while Emma watched Regina and Henry getting into their car. She felt a pang in her heart. How was Henry feeling, was he okay?

Ruby, having let go of Mary Margaret, threw her arms around her. Emma instinctively retuned the hug, and promised herself that she was only clinging to the taller woman's jacket so tightly because she had been caught by surprise.

"We should get going", Ruby said as they broke the embrace.

"You two go ahead. I just need some air".

Mary Margaret eyed her suspiciously. "Are you gonna be alright?"

"I'll be fine".

Probably still doubting Emma's state of mind to be anything remotely close to fine at the moment, but reckoning there was nothing they could do other than accept Emma's request, Mary Margaret and Ruby nodded and left. "See you later, then".

* * *

The air was getting colder and colder and the sun raids that had appeared ever so lightly on the sky were long gone. Emma didn't know how long she had been there, but was aware that the last few people to remain in the cemetery had left quite a while ago.

She was pacing up and down the green grass that covered the graveyard, trying to gather the courage to approach that particular gravestone. Emma knew she had to do it, just so she could say goodbye one last time.

So, slowly, almost carefully she reached the spot with trembling legs. She tried to ignore the lumb in her throat because she didn't want to cry anymore.

"I'm really going to miss you" was all she managed to say, hoping that he'd know, that he would understand how much. "Goodbye, Graham".

* * *

Mary Margaret spotted Emma from afar, her blond hair swaying at the wind. To be honest she didn't really expect her friend to show up at Granny's, but decided to give Emma some time alone, even though she couldn't avoid worrying about her.

That day had been the first time Mary Margaret saw Emma cry since the night Graham died, 5 days before. She knew dealing with it was being hard on her, as she could see the bags under her eyes and hear her roommate get up in the middle of the night, sometimes, but Emma had insisted on going back to work as soon as possible and was resolute on not discussing anything remotely related to the sheriff. Mary Margaret knew better than to insist, at least while she was still mourning.

So, while at Granny's, she let a couple hours go by before saying goodbye to everybody and leaving to look for Emma. Then, after passing by the cemetery and being relieved not to find Emma still torturing herself in there, Mary Margaret came to find her sitting at the docks.

She approached slowly and heard Emma's hoarse voice as she sat down on the bench next to her. "This sucks".

"Yes, it does".

Emma didn't turn to look at Mary Margaret and blond locks covered her face as she had her head lowered. They didn't say anything for a while, the silence being broken only by the sounds of the ocean and Emma's soft hiccups. Mary Margaret knew she should say something to make her friend feel better, but she was finding it hard to find the right words.

She knew how hard it was for Emma to open up to someone and trust them and was glad to be able to reach out to her, but she feared that the whole situation would cause Emma to shut down again.

"You know", she said softly after taking a deep breath, "you're very strong, Emma".

Emma snorted.

"Yes you are. I mean, after everything you've been through. But you just… It's okay not to be so strong _all the time. _You do know that, right?"

Emma turned to look at her for the first time since she got there. Her cheeks were still streaked with tears and her bloodshot eyes scanned Mary Margaret's face as if looking for… something. Honesty, probably.

"I know", Emma hesitated before continuing. "The thing is…sometimes if you pretend you're fine for a long time you end up believing it yourself. Then you don't have to deal with… whatever you're really feeling. You see, after Henry was born I was all alone and… in jail… and…" She stopped and rubbed her eyes, trying to even out her breathing.

The words burned fresh in Mary Margaret's mind. She knew where this was coming from. Letting go of her baby and having no one to be there for her had probably been Emma's worst experience, the one that made her feel completely alone in the world. Mary Margaret didn't know the whole story of Henry's birth, or yet anything other than the fact that Emma was 17 and in jail, but she strongly suspected that whichever the circumstances were they were some of the main reasons why she found it so hard to trust others.

She only wished she could make Emma see that it was not going to happen again. Mary Margaret was not going to let her friend deal with her pain alone. "But things are different now, Emma. I understand that it's hard, I really do, but if you let me I can help you".

"I don't mean to shut you out", Emma inhaled sharply. "I know that you want to help. It's just that I've always been alone".

Mary Margaret was surprised by the fact that Emma was being so open about her feelings, and felt a rush of affection towards her, along with an incredible anger at everyone who had hurt and abandoned Emma in the past.

"I don't know why I went there, I'm not making any sense", Emma continued, "what I mean is…thank you for being here. I don't know what I'd do… you know? Just thank you".

"Oh, Emma, you don't have to thank me. Really", Mary Margaret said with a smile, feeling tears on the corners of her eyes.

Emma smiled back and wiped the remains of tears off her face, mumbling "tired of crying, for God's sake".

They both chuckled.

"So, ready to go home?" Mary Margaret asked.

"Yeah", Emma answered as they both stood up. "Just…" she whispered, swiftly closing the gap between the two of them and surprising Mary Margaret with a tight hug, curling her fingers stiffly into the brunette's coat and resting her head on her shoulder. As she returned the embrace Mary Margaret could feel Emma's body shaking slightly, and she mindlessly started to stroke her blond hair.

It took a few minutes until Emma sighted heavily and pulled away from the hug.

"Yeah, let's go home".

* * *

**Thank you all for reading. Reviews are very much appreciated!**


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